In novels and movies, most plots end up with a happy ending, for instance, Indiana Jones gets his treasure, and Cinderella meets her prince charming. However, in reality, things do not go as planned. Interpersonal conflict arises from personal differences. Every person holds a different set of perceptions and expectation, thus, when the view of one person does not meet the eye of another, a heated debate or fight usually ensues. Let me tell you a story on how personal differences can lead to Interpersonal conflict.
A long time ago in the land of a
tiny island called Singapore, there lived a boy named Thomas who lived with his
father, Roberto, in a small shop house which sells the best wanton noodles in
Singapore. Roberto was very proud of his noodle shop as the shop was passed
down from his great grandfather to his grandfather and to him. Treating the shop
as a family heirloom, Roberto wanted his son to inherit the shop house from
him. Thus, Thomas has been trained daily in the art of cooking delicious wanton
noodles since young.
As Thomas grew older, he made a
few friends who were in the Chinese Opera Troupe. Thomas gradually became bored
of cooking noodles and he realised that he was interested in Opera too. He
developed a passion in the performing arts and aspired to be a stage performer
in the National Chinese Opera Troupe. Believing in his new found passion, he
decided to take some night Opera classes.
One day, while Roberto was
auditing the earnings of the noodle shop, he discovered that earnings of the
recent months were declining, suspecting something was amiss, he decided to
check on the noodle shop. To Roberto's horror, he realised that Thomas had been
closing the noodle shop earlier for the past few months. Filled with rage,
Roberto confronted his son. "Where have you been going at night?!"
roared Roberto. Irritated by his father's sudden burst of outrage, Thomas
replied curtly" I realised I love Chinese Opera and I want to do Opera
performance.". Upon hearing these words, Roberto was filled with dismay,
his dream of his son inheriting the noodle shop was crushed! "Why Opera!?
The noodle shop makes so much more money than Opera!" shouted Roberto. Trying
to convince his son to pursue his career in cooking noodles, Roberto rambled on
how Thomas' friends were a bad influence on him and claimed that Thomas has no
say in the matter because he should listen to his father.
Frustrated with his father's lack
of understanding, Thomas slammed the table and shouted" You do not own me!
You cannot decided anything for me!", and with that, Thomas spun around sharply
and left the room, leaving his angry father speechless.
So my friends, how do you think Thomas should have handled
the situation, knowing that his father has his reasons for the survival of his
shop house?
Interesting personal conflict situation! In my opinion, Thomas and Roberto should practice effective emotional intelligence through self-awareness and self-regulation by controlling their emotions instead of allowing their anger to take over their rationality, leading them to a heated argument. Both Thomas and Roberto should also exercise empathy by placing themselves into each other shoes to understand each other's feelings and perception.
ReplyDeleteInstead of keeping his father in the dark, Thomas should be honest with his father about his interest in opera and get his father's understanding and support in attending night classes and pursuing opera. He should also empathise with his father's pride in his shop and disappointment in learning that Thomas doesn't want to make a career out of it, thus giving his father time to be receptive towards his decision in pursuing opera.
On the other hand, Roberto should also empathize with Thomas feelings and interest and not force his own dreams on his son. This will allow him to better understand his son's plight and give him the support he needs.
Lastly, Thomas and Roberto could work out a solution together to ensure the survival of Roberto's noodle business. Solution can include recruiting and training relatives or people who has a passion in it to ensure the continuation of the art of cooking delicious wanton noodle!
-Macadia Wei
Hi Selywn,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the short story. I agree that the son could have been more forthcoming with his father in terms of his plans for the future. This is the reason why communication is important. Sometimes, we tend to withhold certain information for some reasons. This is where communication breaks down as the incorrect message is sent to the receiver. Therefore, if all parties were willing to communicate properly and effectively, conflicts can be prevented or resolved easily.
Wei Pin